


Babylon 5 shopping lists

by Ololon



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-07
Updated: 2013-12-07
Packaged: 2018-01-03 22:36:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1073856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ololon/pseuds/Ololon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A piece of utter silliness I wrote as a joke for the friend who introduced me to B5 some years ago. I rediscovered it whilst tidying up my computer and thought I may as well post it up, in case it makes someone else laugh.</p>
<p>I originally did this with funky fonts for each character, but have no idea how to do that in AO3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ivanova

Ivanova's shopping list.

(1) Alarm clock

(2) Vodka                         (Conference to endure tomorrow!)

(3) Alarm clock for other side of room

(4) Stick to hit ambassadors with          (Ok, ok I was just kidding!)

(5) CHOCOLATE

(6) Scented candles                    - so they’re girly but they’re nice!

(7) Photoframe for secret picture of T

(8) One of those alarm clocks that runs away and hides from you

(9) Desperate Housewives DVD                      - who am I kidding?! Get Buffy boxset instead

(1) Stickers for my star fury helmet

(11) Boot polish                 - this does NOT make me anal!

(12) Stick to hit alarm clocks with

(13) Copy of ancient Earth Text: _Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus_ , for Garibaldi – ha!


	2. Delenn

Delenn's shopping list

(1) Shampoo - not making that mistake again!

(2) Vertical bed linen – so hard to find!

(3) A triangle (wouldn’t it be fulfilling to play an instrument?)

(4) Scented candles  - so nice!

(5) Chocolate

(6) Bongos (need instrument loud enough to drown out G’kar’s singing)

(7) Crystals (can never have too many crystals)

(8) New robe with hood that covers eyes (try Marks and Spencers?)

(9) Tampax (see note about shampoo)

(10) Triangular cushions

(11) Copy of ancient Human text,  _Kama Sutra,_ for John – ha!


	3. Londo

Londo's shopping list

(1) 5L bottle of extra strong hold hair gel

(2) Crate of Brivari                          - Make that two. Conference to endure tomorrow – Great Maker!

(3) Calvin Klein grooming kit

(4) Chocolate       - See note about Conference.

(5) Earplugs to block out G’kar’s “singing”        - make that 3 crates Brivari – Great Maker!

(6) Extra large mirror

(7) Sex toys for Vir                           - the boy needs help!!! Put on his account.

(8) Scented candles                         - also for Vir. Apparently females really like them. Put on his acct.

(9) Perfectly legal intoxicating drugs

(10) Purple underwear (try M&S?)

(11) Copy of ancient Earth Text: _How to make friends and influence people,_ for G’kar – ha!


	4. G'kar

G’kar’s shopping list

(1) Six extra large candles

(2) Red lightbulbs

(3) Ten large candles

(4) Lenor extra soft fabric conditioner (for bathrobe)

(5) Chocolate

(6) Twelve medium candles

(7) Lots of parchment paper

(8) Scores for Mozart operas. To sing! - If no opera, try musical “Cats"

(9) Ten bottles ink

(10) Twenty-six small candles (shouldn’t these people be giving me a bulk discount or something?)

(11) New pen (must stop biting nib)

(12) Five scented candles (apparently human females love them – worth a try)         + Massage oil. You never know!

(13) Leather conditioning oil for boots. And gloves. And coat. And trousers. And pants.

(14) Copy of ancient Human text: _What not to Wear_ , for Mollari – ha!


	5. Kosh

KOSH’S SHOPPING LIST

 

(1) Exoskeleton polish - I am looking dusty. This is not appropriately dignified

(2) Scented candles - Sheridan recommended them. This is not understood.

(3) Chocolate - This substance holds great power and must be investigated.

Note: This is an experimental list made in order to understand the strange concept of “shopping.” Vorlon have no need of such trivial corporeal activities. Obviously.

(4)  Perhaps more chocolate. Conference session to endure tomorrow. Maybe I’ll just skip it again.


End file.
